more teen angst...

i thought tears were only for emo kids...i let him fuck me over. i must be so masochistic... i let him hurt me and when he calls i come running. why? he's not the one, he's not even worth my time... dammit i hate myself.i keep dreaming about scott. it's gone on every night for almost a month now. it's funny, i don't think about this stupid little crush thing i have during the day, but i must be repressing because at night my subconscious has a field day with it. i don't know...i went to the supermall w/ sterling tonight. then luke-ass called, and i suggested we go to tacoma. of course, he got cut off and didn't answer when i called him back, so i made sterl waste gas for nothing. sorry, sterl.i bought my grandma an outrageously expensive pair of black hills gold earrings. they're hummingbirds. her favorite. i spent all my money on them, and i don't really know why. i didn't even think twice. stupid me. well, i don't really have anything pertinent to say (as usual), so i'm going to go in my room and cry about luke. cry myself to sleep, that is. maybe then i can have another dream... goddamnhellfuckshitbye