ranting and raving

god, i'm so fucking bored.. i'm just sitting here at my computer listening to techno and wondering whether or not i should smoke some pot. probably not...i have to go shopping with my mom later today. shit. i think i did a bunch of stuff last night, but after going to dave's, my memory's a little fuzzy. i'm so sick of this suburban drug culture bullshit. lucas was right: there's nothing to do in puyallup but drugs. or, as julia described it, puyallup is two houses and a cow. i can't wait to get out of this town. so, christmas vacation has begun. go christ. the impact of christianity on our society is so fucking pathetic. a religion that was originally pretty groovy, decidedly pagan, and extremely compassionate, has warped into a celebration of mass consumerism and blind faith. ack. first of all, christmas was originally a pagan celebration which christians warped to be the birth of christ, a time when all god-loving americans can buy each other meaningful things they don't need. now, i'm not ragging on all parts of christmas. it's actually quite nice that people, around this time of year, realize how greedy they are and give to homeless people. but it's so misguided... our country is so wrong! i hate the way christians preach... their dogmatic voices make up the choir of ignorance. and it's always the same exact things. challenge them, and you will get "god works in mysterious ways." point out anything unpleasant, and you will get "jesus loves you." when did healthy spirituality turn into this? and as if what it does to our minds isn't enough, look at what judeo-christian religions have done to our earth. "god's" inherent need for more humans (made in HIS image, of course...) is overpopulating our world. that, mixed with the "american dream," aka the incessant need for more capita, no matter what the circumstance, has turned so many once-beautiful lands into oceans of asphalt, villages of factories, skies of smog, and on and on and on. sometimes i just sit back and wonder, how did this happen? how did the garden of eden turn into this concrete jungle? ack.you know what else pisses me off (since i'm at it)? american youth. good god--i understand that i am from a small quasi-hick town in western washington, that the people i come in contact with do not neccessarily represent the entire nation, but... shit how can people be so fucking blissfully ignorant? whenever i try to bring up things that i think are meaningful, like say: world hunger, nuclear war, organized religion, etc. i run into this brick wall. all people around here seem to care about is who's fucking who, what to wear tomorrow, and how to get weed. now i'm not degrading these things; i think about them at times, too, but what about REAL stuff? is it that the situation of our world has become so sad that the only way to lead a happy life is to ignore it? why do people allow themselves to be pacified by government propaganda instead of searching for the truth? how do teenagers, my peers, become so calloused, so fucking apathetic? argh. i can't think about this anymore. i just might smoke that bowl after all. see, i'm doing it myself. i think maybe it's just hard for this generation to look around and see what their predecessors have left for them without getting angry, or just choosing to ignore it altogether. fuck. whoa. i din't realize i had that in me this morning. maybe it's the lack of intellectual conversations in my life. got to get it out somehow. and i didn't even get started on capitalism, corporate monopolies, brainwashing, or aol. well, i've got to go. i'm IMing someone. HAbye